Meeting in the space of Love

Bids and Why Your Relationship Craves Them

Falling in love, growing close, and discovering the little things that are only meant to be shared with your special someone. These are just a few aspects of intimacy, connection, and romance that keep us striving for that rewarding relationship.

However, relationships can get tricky, murky, and a tad bit gloomy without the proper maintenance. Here I will share with you the magic of bids, what they are and how they can be an effective tool within your relationship.

What are Bids?

Bids are a way for couples to engage in conversation (think connection) with one another. These are opportunities for a couple to come together to provide support, gain more understanding, show affection, engage in playful behavior, or other unifying opportunities.

Here’s an example:

Partner 1: “Woah, it’s such a beautiful day outside.” (Bid)

Partner 2: "Yeah, it really is! Do you want to go to the park today?” (Turning Towards Bid)

Why are Bids Important?

Bids are a way to bring partners closer to one another. When our bids are noticed and responded to, we feel that our thoughts and feelings matter to our partner. Engaging in your partner’s bids can create an opportunity to learn things about your special someone that you may not know. Humans are complex beings that are constantly changing and evolving, this means that there will always be something new to learn from and about our partners.
An ignored bid or a bid that is met with negativity can communicate that we are not heard or that we are not valued within the relationship. This can create unnecessary distance and resentment within the relationship.

Making the Most of Bids

Be clear- When you are making a bid for connection with your partner, try to be clear and to the point about what you are needing or wanting. Bids can be lost in translation. Not all bids are equal in terms of being received effectively. Nonverbal bids such as smiling, or staring may not be as effective as verbal expressions.

Rebid- Sometimes our bids are not noticed for a variety of reasons. Perhaps our partner is daydreaming, or their focus is elsewhere. This doesn’t mean our bid is lost in the void, it simply means that we have an opportunity to rebid. Sending out that bid again can make a world of difference and offer our partner another opportunity to catch that chance to connect.

Reduce Turning Away – Consistently turning away from bids can be a surefire way of extinguishing the flame of a relationship. Being present with your partner and acknowledging and engaging with their attempts for connection can communicate that what they have to say is important to you.

I hope this brief blog has helped you in some way.

Peace, Love, and Positivity- Hassan